The Myth of Abba Jesus, Part 1
The mythologized tale of Twitch Plays Pokémon, Part 1 of 5
In the grassy hillside of Pallet Town, peaceful as ever, there lived Abby, a fire-tailed Charmander, and Abba, a red-tailed Pidgey. They were both young, free, and unaware of any problems in the Kanto region or beyond. And they had no ambitions for this to ever change.
Abby was an outsider, the only Charmander in the area. She had been brought to Pallet Town by Professor Oak, a man who had always wanted to understand the more enigmatic Pokémon of Cinnabar island or the mountains to the north. With almost no memory of her parents and no knowledge that they had died in a stampede of Tauroses, she had landed in the care of Oak and developed into a wild monster. She roamed up and down the routes, encouraging the other Pokémon in his lab to sneak out after Oak had fallen asleep. But the others were too afraid. The families of Pidgeys and Rattatas along the route to the north all stayed clear of her roaming—except Abba. When Abba’s parents were asleep, they would roam deep into the night, sometimes as far as Viridian City and into the forests in the north. They could never get lost, as the flame of Abby’s tail let them see through the darkness, and the strength of Abba’s wings let them see above the trees.
One night when they had traveled far into the forest to see bugs they had only ever heard about, they lay down in a thick patch of grass for a chance to get some rest. They would need to hurry to arrive home before dawn and not upset the whole town. Abba said to Abby, “One day I will have wings strong enough to carry you as I fly.”
Abby laughed, for Abba could barely carry himself. She said, “Mr. Oak told me I will have wings one day. So I will carry you!”
“No, I will carry you!” Abba hopped up and grabbed her, and he fluttered his wings with the most fierce attempt to prove he could carry her. But she was many times his weight. She got on her feet and ran fast enough for them to feel the breeze, so that he could pretend he was carrying her. If ever they encountered a wild bug or Rattata that wanted to fight, she would lash out with her dragon-like claws and was always the one who prevailed.
The humans in the town did little more than keep their houses warm and their children fed. But there was one young man by the name of Red, who had an unstoppable allure. He was often found outside, drumming at the campfire by himself through dusk and into the night, and when his mother shouted from her window for him to stop, he would put the drums down then dance erratically. Most thought he was helplessly overwhelmed by mental problems, but Professor Oak claimed he had a cerebral connection to the divine. “If he ever speaks to you,” Oak said to Abby, “Listen with intent. Red is a visionary.”
One afternoon, Abby and Abba dared to walk into his sight, while he was furiously typing away on a red electronic gadget. Upon seeing them, he froze. He came to the longest silence moment of silence they had ever seen for him. And he pointed at them and said, “You two. You are fighters.”
Abby and Abba looked at each other and laughed. It was true Abby had a fierce attitude toward the roughneck monsters of the forest, but she had never considered herself a fighter. Red told them they would soon grow too fierce for the tiny village of Pallet Town to contain their strengths, and that they should head north to Pewter City, where they could train with the strongest rock Pokémon of the region. “It is there,” he said while looking into the sky, “where you will discover your destiny.”
Abby and Abba thought nothing of him. But over the next ten months, they ventured closer and closer to Pewter City unwillingly, as their adventures through the Viridian Forest began to bore them. Both could stave off a Caterpie with a single scratch or quick attack. A poison sting from a Weedle barely effected either of them. Abby began venturing into Pewter City where she fought and bested many of the rock Pokémon, until Brock, the leader of a local gym organized a tournament.
Abba did not participate. He resented even watching some of the matches, as he withheld many criticisms about how the tournament was organized, with Abby fighting two or three days in a row, while most of the others had ample time to rest before fighting her. The old crew of Pewter City hadn’t wanted to test her strength so much as they wanted to defeat her. But Abby did not fear, nor believe, she could lose. The tournament carried on daily for many weeks, and the final matches which took place in the City’s large amphitheater drew in spectators from all over the city. Abba could only watch by flying high above the ring, where Abby awaited her unknown competitor. The ground rumbled, and a chain of rocks burst out from a nearby tunnel, an Onix that towered over her at three times her height. His skin hardened, to where the ember blasts of her tail did nothing. The scratch of her claws only effected his face. They dueled each other into pure exhaustion, until Abby prevailed.
Amid the chaos of cheering patrons and raining confetti, Abba could hardly enter the ring to make sure Abby was still alert and well. The people cared more for the excitement of an outrageous Pokémon duel than they did for the wellbeing of the participants, even though it was known that Pokémon had died of exhaustion inside the most strictly run gyms. As people filed into the aisles and left the ring, in search of their next whip of entertainment, Abba flew down to her side. He looked around, in search of help, and saw that Red was in the stands, ominous and detached as always. Abba shouted at him to come, and together they were able to carry her away. Red pointed at the path that would lead to the nearby Pokémon Center, where nurses who specialized in monster healing could tend to her wounds. She was cut deeply across the chest and barely breathing. The flame at the tip of her tail was not much stronger than that of a candle. Abba was terrified.
But as they rounded into a corner on a quiet part of a small path, Abby trembled and broke free of their grasp. She shouted. Her skin swelled up. The wounds sealed shut and vanished. The flame of her tail went ablaze. Abba had no idea what was happening, but Red grew excited and took out his Pokédex to analyze the incident. Abby was evolving. Within minutes she grew another half size taller, turning into the first Charmeleon to walk Kanto in many years. There was no more doubt by anyone who had heard of her that she was a prodigy.
She did not want to return to Pallet Town. There was no reason to spend another day in such a quiet town. Instead, she wanted to rest one night and venture off to find even stronger opponents in the organized fights all around Kanto. And Professor Oak had long since accepted that she would one day desire to venture out into the wild. Abba, however, had no reason to leave. He had never even heard of a Pidgey thriving anywhere other than on the peninsula where his parents lived. He argued with Abby for an entire day. He reminded her of the islands to the west they could one day swim to. He still wanted to encounter the family of Pikachus that roamed the Viridian Forest. But her heart could not be swayed. She said, “Look toward that mountain,” and she pointed at the tallest mountain to the northwest, so far away they could barely see it through the misty sky. “That’s where I want to compete one day. On the Indigo Plateau. Victory Mountain.”
Abba knew he had no hope of convincing her, and if he didn’t chase after her into the Mount Moon cave that led the way to Cerulean City, he might never see her again. He asked Red to send a telegram home, telling his Pidgey family he was leaving to study economics and philosophy for some time, even though no Pidgey had ever been known to be studious. Before he was certain Red, with his chaotic typing, had even written anything legible, he flew after Abby.
Mount Moon stretched longer than they had expected. If not for the light and warmth of Abby’s tail, they would not have survived the weeks-long journey into depths so cold that they thought no human could ever be encountered. But in the lowest cavern, they saw from a distance a pack of mobsters quietly running an operation to dig for rare fossils. They thought it best to avoid these people, though Abba was quite disheartened and began to suggest they intervene. He hated the idea of standing aside as thieves drilled into some of the most precious jewels in nature. But Abby tugged him along. In such haste to move, they stumbled into a nerdy looking boy who began accusing them of trying to steal his precious findings. Just as he was about to call for help, Abby delivered a blow to knock the boy unconscious.
Several of the mobsters in the adjacent cave heard the commotion and made their way toward them. Abba looked at one of the precious fossils lying on the floor, in a trance induced by its amber allure and the intricacies of its geometric patterns.
He said, “We have to take this. All of them are after this.”
“It’s just a Helix Fossil. It will weigh us down for nothing!”
“What is a Helix Fossil?”
She shrugged. “Oak had pictures of them on his wall. He said the pattern on the shell was mesmerizing or something.
“Then we’ve got to take it. Please!” Abba grabbed the fossil and fluttered his wings, trying to drag it toward Abby, though it weighed as much as he did. Abby relented and grabbed the fossil. She would later find a bag to carry it, if it meant so much to Abba. Without another moment to spare, they rushed up a ladder and along a path toward the surface.
When they emerged, a posse of journalists were awaiting their arrival. Cerulean City was modernized. The people here had cameras and gadgets of all kinds, and many of them traveled up and down the routes on bicycles. News had spread of Abby the prodigy coming to challenge the best fighters in the region, and some of the most prominent journalists had gathered to get their first glimpse of her. They set off thousands of flashes, their cameras spitting instant photographs into the air. Abba picked one up and saw for the first time ever a preserved image of himself and Abby, and the date printed in the corner shocked him. They had been away from home for almost a year.
Abby began entering the nearby gym almost every day, though she was frequently knocked out, due to her weakness to an abundance of water Pokémon, and she was often sent to a Pokémon Center. Abba, in his efforts to become familiar with the inner workings of the city and places where a Pidgey as small as him could train, came upon a Rattata in the grasslands. He was of average size—similar to Abba—but with a gigantic head and chin. And after they toiled for a moment to test each other’s strength, instead of running off like most of his type, he said, “Jeez. I thought Pidgeys were all a bunch of nerds.”
His name was Jayleno. He was a genuine prankster, always cracking jokes about the mayor and other political leaders around town. He shifted Abba’s interests toward class struggles and a brewing corruption within the city, though there was not much they could do about it as two young Pokémon. Only in the most modern of cities did Pokémon participate in society. In some libraries, after hours, they could sneak in and read books that had been fashioned into a language they could understand.
On the outskirts of the city, they ran into an up-and-coming leader named Blue. He was a young punk with a permanent smirk on his face, with suave, overdone hair. He spit gum at them and sent two of his goon members—a Squirtle and Abra—to beat them to a pulp. It became apparent to them during the duel that this squad had no respect for competition. They might have killed Abba and Jayleno and left them in the streets, with intent to tell the journalists they died in a horrific accident. But Abby happened to be nearby and rushed into the brawl and staved them off.
From that point on, they were aware that Blue had quite an influence around the city. Abba gained enough strength to fly around the tops of buildings and watch him enter and exit a backdoor to the Cerulean gym, bringing Staryus and Starmies in with him. He was rotating in fresh fighters in the middle of a tournament, fixing matches so that Abby would be defeated every time. This was the explanation as to why she had failed to win a tournament in her many months of grueling attempts.
Abba was filled with fury. He took a nosedive and rushed up to Jayleno, who was on the patio across the street, entertaining a crowd with a monologue. Abba looked at him with the most fierce glare he had ever given and said, “They’re fixing the matches.”
Jayleno looked concerned. “Who runs that gym?”
“Misty.”
“Then we’ve got to beat Misty!”
They entered the gym floor at the latest hour for new entrants, the smallest two competitors. They did not have much of a plan other than to take up space in the ring, to slow down the rate at which Misty and Blue could corrupt the tournament pool. He had such fury that he managed to win multiple rounds against different Staryus. He advanced to a final stage where he fought against a Starmie, in a long match where every fiber of his being wanted him to tap out of the fight. But he knew if he could wear the opponent down just a bit more, Abby would win the tournament. He fought until he collapsed on the floor, as did Jayleno in the moment he ran to help his companion. The two lay on the floor in a daze and none of the lackeys cared. Abby matched against the Starmie and defeated it with a single scratch.
The three exited the gym with another big tournament win to their name, spreading word that Blue was a match fixer. They stirred up enough controversy to get banned from matches in Cerulean city, but none of them cared. Abby wanted to travel south, into Saffron City. Abba wanted to go home. He was exhausted. He could not hear Abby when she told him, “We have so much more training to do. Red told us we’d become fighters,” or when Jayleno said, “There’s so much more bureaucratic rot for us to discover, we could turn Saffron City upside down in a month!” For many days he seemed to be on the brink of death, and he could think only of how he would explain to Abby that he finished.
Before making his decision, he flew to the nearby dock where they had stashed some of their precious items, most importantly the Helix Fossil Abba had recovered from the cave. He had fallen into the habit of looking at it every night before falling asleep. He touched the pattern embedded in its surface, mesmerized by its detail. He was convinced only a true miracle of nature could create such beauty. If it was a miraculous object, surely it could help him figure whether he should continue. It glimmered in the daylight sun, and in that same moment he felt his strength returning—a lot of his strength. Within moments his breast swelled with adrenaline, and his wings stretched out. He was shocked and horrified, but then overcome with joy as he evolved into a Pidgeotto.
When he finished taking his new form he stretched his wings and flew high above the tallest buildings, with enough strength to flap through the most wild turbulence. Many Pidgeys went their whole lives never evolving. If he telegrammed home to claim he had done so, no one in Pallet Town would believe him until he showed up in the flesh to prove it. But home seemed less interesting to him by the moment. At the outskirts of the city, he focused on what he had thought was the sun glimmering, but now he was high enough to see what that figure really was—a bird. It was a legendary bird. Abba was certain he could see the yellow speck flapping, sending pulses of electricity through the air with each thrust of its wings.
He could never hope to be so powerful, but just knowing a bird like that existed filled him with euphoria and with a longing to know what more there was to find in Kanto.
Abby was back at their campsite when he landed, and her eyes widened upon seeing him in his stronger form. He didn’t need to say a word. She knew this meant he would stay with her on the trek to the next city, though it would be a long one. Before they packed, he grazed his talon over the Helix Fossil once more. He now had the strength to carry it in his talon, and he had comfort knowing it could be in his grasp almost all of the time.